I’ve been Jax my whole life…

I’ve been Jax my whole life…
I'm tired; I'm tired of everything.
I can't sleep; looking at food makes me feel sick.
I hate everyone around me; why?
Because in the end, they all leave me.
When I finally fall asleep,
I have a nightmare that makes me cry for hours.
My world feels like a dream; I feel like everything is unreal. I don't even know what my purpose in living is or what I should do. I just want someone to hold me. :)