Where do I go from here

Where do I go from here? ...
I'm so confused as of who I am...
I don't think like me anymore...
you've took me in,
then abandoned me....
leaving me feeling like a completely different person...
I can't fake a smile anymore..
I hate the sound of laughter...
any sign of happiness,
I destroy...
I walk in a room...and darkness follows...
sending everyone to their knees....
falling to me...
somehow automatically knowing my name..
they chant....
And I'm starting to like it...
the control,
the power...
the darkness...
No, stop using me, to do your work....
go back to where you came from,
and find another victim...
I have never been happy...
but not this miserable either....
I just want me back....
Just go away...
but no, i will not beg you either...
for I have learned that that is weakness...
and never will I fall weak again....
I am stronger...
and we will see.....
God is Good