Watching something you can't see…

Watching something you can't see…
A pale light slipping in from outside
the only light there was.. Yes; Another dawn had found him awake, and that faint, early light had finally touched his room
He could no longer remember when these sleepless nights had begun
But for as long as memory served, he had spent his nights staring into nowhere, drifting through his thoughts
while thinking nothing at all

Maybe he was searching for an answer somewhere inside himself, Or maybe his body was already crying out, asking what to do with the next wound.. Even he didn't know
He was a lost soul in darkness
the darkness of thoughts, of indecision, of not knowing… or knowing too much!
This was exactly what they call: full of emptiness

He didn't know which pain to look at and which to mend
there were so many
All he knew was that while others slept, he lay staring at the ceiling, filling himself with the void
He didn't know whether to speak of dark chocolate with warm milk, or caramel chocolate with bitter coffee
both had their own strange beauty!
All he knew was that no tears came
not even when he needed them most, not even when he was desperate to break

All he knew was that controlling his own mind had become the hardest thing of all
His thoughts wandered wherever they pleased, leading nowhere
He thought about everything; or maybe he thought about nothing at all!
He was drowning in his own ocean, alone, having called no rescuer to his side. :)
Perhaps he was nothing more… than someone crushed beneath another's power and dominance :)..

I'm just tired... Don't you know what things a person might do out of sheer exhaustion?
_ Dostoevsky